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What happened to that promise? 12/05/20 11:59pm

Do you ever just sit in the darkness trying to sleep but your mind just won’t stop ticking? Its dark all around and the only thing you can hear is the fan in the corner sweeping the cool air onto your face. The same four walls. The same as they’ve been since the day you moved in with her. Staring blankly at the ceiling you remember all the things she said and all the nights you spent in this bed laughing, cuddling and fooling around. There should be pain. There should be sadness. Replaying the life you once had filled with happiness and promises has left you an empty shell staring into the darkness. Closing your eyes praying sleep comes before more thoughts but it never works. It’s like a race to fall asleep before reality and memories flood your mind. You take some sleeping pills and they make you drowsy but you know she will be there tonight just like most other nights. Hainting your dreams filling your head with memories of better times, so carefree. So loved. You found out she moved to the hills now, a small smile tugs at your mouth and a weak breath escapes your lips as you mutter “she finally did it, she finally did what she has wanted to for years”

That warm feeling of proudness reaches up at your heats and tugs the strings dangling below. She may have done it but she did it with the wrong person. She’s a bandaid I’ve been told by multiple people but I only want her to be happy. Promises were made. Promises were broken. The things we shared and moments together I will never let go of.

What about the promise for us to leave and start a new life together? The promise of me and her being close? How about the promise of friendship?

The one where she told you she would always be there but she has cut you off and moved away without word?

Your birthday is coming up next week. I wonder if she will remember and message me... probably not. But that’s ok I guess she’s going to be busy with her new life and I’m proud of her for getting out and living for once! The one promise that kills me is the promise we made to stand by each other and remaining friends.

I know space is good and well needed but to treat me no better than dirt and not keep her word after everything..?

Thats the broken promise thats keeping my heart from finally mending.

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