Have you ever sat in front of a mirror when your upset?
When your feeling venerable, at your low points in your life?
Like after a break up, a death in the family, after a fight with a loved one...
Have you ever just sat there and stared?
You don't recognise who you are, there seems to be this empty shell staring back at you.
Face wet from tears, eyes puffy and red from the place they started.
Glassy emptiness where love and passion used to reside.
What happened to it?
When did everything change?
How can you fix her?
Then that's when the anger steps in, your no longer saddened looking into the eyes of the woman you see.
Being tormented her whole life.
Playing off the snarky comments as jokes, as banter in school, the workplace, her home.
She's ugly, fat, dumb, never been told shes loved or worth anything.
She laughs it off and no one notices, no one notices the mask she puts on day after day.
She's happy, cracking jokes, always smiling and laughing.
She cops everything on the chin and everyone thinks she's laughing with them.
She's the happiest person in school despite her home life, despite not being the most popular no one ever asks if she's ok or if she needs help.
She wakes up every morning and puts that mask on and paints on her smile but as soon as she's alone and the mask comes off there's nothing left.
Nothing but that shell staring back at her, that empty sad shell.
No one will notice if she's gone, no one notices the scars or cuts on her hands and wrists they just see the smile.
Taking a handful of pills and washing them down with a bottle of jacks it fades.
Still not breaking the eye contact it all fades away, there's nothing left but the numbness and darkness.
She's free, she's home.