top of page

The day I realized I have anxiety... 6:57pm 13/07/20

So today I have realized I have anxiety. I knew about the depression and the OCD but the anxiety I had no idea about until I get a job offer in another state and have to up route my life. Leave my niece and my nephews in care, my boyfriend, my friends. Everything. Its an amazing opportunity to continue my career and improve everything but I cant leave knowing how I feel about him and the kids being here. Can I? I've replace regular thinking with the realization that I'm not ok, I haven't dealt with the break up and I'm still on the path of self destruction. Drugs drinking and closing off is now catching up with me. I never knew I was so anxious until I was faced with the depression of leaving my life in SA to begin and entire new life in WA I never realized I was depressed OCD and anxious. I may have said all of this before but that's because I'm drunk and I cant remember what I wrote before. I've just sat on the shower floor drinking for 45 minutes because I cant believe I actually have anxiety and panic attacks. Finding it hard to breathe, shaking, crying, feeling useless and like I don't know what to do in any situation. It scares me and for once I cant wait for my therapist appointment rather than avoiding it and telling everyone I'm fine.

7 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All

Return of the evil... 20/03/2021 11:50am

Losing everything is enough to make the darkness resurface Peering around the corner with the snarky grin on its face The wretched evil sound all too familiar leaving its lips Boney deformed hands emb

Dream Realization... 7/12/2020 6:52pm

Last night I had a dream. The dream that I had once hoped i could do to myself, the kind that ended it all. Sweet release of peace, end the suffering, give in to the demons in my head and just let the

Best Friend Gone... 17/09/2020 11:00pm

Its taking me far too long to come to terms with everything especially when those songs slide into playlists, play on the radio, the ones that make your heart melt and your head explode with emotion.


bottom of page