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Dreams... 10:49 28/05/20

Aren't dreams an amazing concept?

Think about it, they tap into the subconscious mind and bring up things you haven't dealt with, things you want to relive, things your scared of or even things you don't know that your feeling. They're so vivid make you wake up still feeling the way you did in that imaginary world. Sometimes its scared, sad, happy, excited, or even hopeful in love...

This morning I woke up from a dream and it left me wondering if im done running from finding love again. There was a bunch of young people in a big warehouse kinda like hunger games style, with a bunch of small cages with stuff covered with tarps. Things got crazy and the guys ddecided to take out the girls. One guy was big, tattooed, he went after one girl that I saw who was smller. She looked scared. Ok pause LOL I know how this sounds and trust me as im saying it I legit think im crazy and fully aware of how it sounds and I cant believe that im actually going to publish this to a public blog! Anyways back to it because the hunger games thing isn't the important bit that I was originally trying to get out.

She had olive skin, short curly/wavy brown hair, brown eyes and gorgeously plump lips. Her body was amazing, white tank top and ripped jeans. She was stunning! Just as I thought he was going to hurt her she shocked me and took him down in a super hot kickboxing kind of way. A woman who was absolutely stunning in every way possibl just took out the biggest guy in this place, she didn't need me or anyone to save her, she can kick ass and protect herself just fine! Now that is my kinda girl! Anyways, after everything else was over we ended up on a bus and she was sitting alone so I went to talk to her, she was closed off and quiet. She ended up getting off the bus outside her house, turned out she lived around the corner from me so we got off at the same place.

She walked very quickly without looking back and slammed the door, I took the hnt and left her alone. There was that feeling, the one that you cant see anyone or anything else. The one that makes you hopeful for the future. How did she do it? How did she make you feel like this without even talking to you? You have said for months you never want a relationship agaon but she changed it. Shes the one, shes that scene in the chick flicks where the guy is standing in front of this gorgeous girl staring and she snaps him out of it by talking. Then the guy is fumbling for words and cant string a sentence together, you know the one, its in everychick flick known to man! Anyway, its weird, butterflies and knots in your stomach; something you havent felt in a long time because you put this massive wall up of indestructable steel, you cant get hurt again. Your ex left you broken, feeling like you never want to fall in love again, like theres nothing left so you flipped that switch and stopped feeling.

Any who back to the story...

Something got delivered the next morning to my place but it was for her, so that was my excuse, I walked up to her door and she opened it and continued packing I asked her where she was going. She told me she is going away for a while and when she comes back she is moving. She needed time away from this place she had been hurt a few months back like me, I just stood there and simply said I totally get it. She stared at me expecting more so I told her ive been hurt too and I didn't think I could ever have hope to fall in love again... I trailed of and continued awkwardly saying until I saw you. She kissed me and said she had to go, gave me her number and said she had to go, call her if I wanted and as I stood there feeling a bit beside myself she ran to her taxi and I turned slowly to look at her a weak smile on my face as she smiled back and waved. She was gone... And I woke up.

How can the feeling of this deam follow me into life? Am I wanting another relationship? Is she this mystery girl im supposed to end up with? How do I find her? Am I looking too hard for a friend with benefits? Should I not be looking and see who ends up in my life?

I have so many questions but the dream kinda made me hopeful for the first time in so long, I know its temporary but I like the feeling. I hope shes real, I hope she walks into my life. Once I hated hope. Hope makes you feel like theres a possibility something will work out but to me it simply means theres more room to fall harder when it doesn't work out. But this dream has made me question if im ready for something more... For once in my life I don't feel like hope is a bad thing.

What do you guys think I should do now?

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1 Comment

Thats an awesome dream! Will have to chat more about it when we catch up. :) I promise you though, hope is a good thing. Youre ok :)

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