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Ava... 10:28am 1/05/19

There has been so many things between us we have worked through and come out the other side.

Two of the biggest things I've ever been known to go through this far in life, the things on our ride.

The first you fucked up. Ripped my heart out and tore it to shreds.

You always went back and fourth between us.

On this night we should have chosen separate beds.

We were sleeping, well I thought we were...

I felt movement beside me and you were touching her.

Running your hands on her body while I lay still next to you.

I forgave too easily and let it go, but years later I did the same to you.

I only messaged though, never anything physical I never was going to follow through.

You were crying, so was I. Begging you to stay you told me we are through.

You moved out and kept stringing me along

Never letting me forget I did you wrong.

My head is reeling, heart still broken

Thoughts racing, body is weak.

Picking up a blade feels so good and my life so dull and bleak

Tears falling, mind running wild. I gotta catch myself before I fall even further into the abiss.

But cutting my skin and releasing all the pressure is why I find my bliss.

I know you will hate me if I do, so I push and bury it deep inside; where the light will never shine.

Ill put on the mask I hade behind every time there's pain, ill tell everyone I'm fine...

I'm ok.

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